8 Extraordinary Security Tips to Surprise Burglars and Other Unwanted Guests

Okay, now that I’ve finished watching Home Alone for the umpteenth time in preparation for writing this article, I am now an expert on home security. I’ve just got to find a kid who’s a bit handier than myself to rig the traps and get myself a baseball bat.

There are a plethora of unique ways to protect your property and family from unwanted guests, and particularly against burglars. These are just a few that you might not yet have considered:

  1. Use hidden or decoy hiding places: First off, don’t hide your valuables in common places, like your sock drawer, under the mattress, or in the master bedroom. If you have something small but valuable, such as jewelry or a wad of cash, get a safe that looks like an electrical outlet or a fake surge protector.
  2. Make your house loud: There are several ways to accomplish this. These days, putting timers on televisions or radios, or anything really that makes a noise, is easy. You can also get a dog or another animal, such as a parrot, that makes a lot of noise, particularly if it sees a person it doesn’t know. Having stuffed toys or other devices with motion detectors can also create noise that will disconcert and dissuade would-be burglars. Setting up home appliances like blenders to make noise can also discourage break-ins. You can even set up a barking dog monitor to scare away burglars, unwanted wild animals, or nosy neighbors.
  3. 3. Light it up: Additionally, you can hook up motion sensors to bright outside lights, which will not only discourage burglars but also pests like raccoons or other wild animals that dig through your garbage. You can also put lights on timers, to make it look as if someone is moving through the house when no one’s home. You can even use home automation devices to light up your house.
  4. Landscaping and gardening: Planting thorny trees or bushes, like rose bushes or acacia trees, especially underneath possible entry points into your home, such as windows, will make access into your home more difficult, and definitely more painful.
  5. Don’t make your life an open book: Social media has made sharing photos online and between family and friends incredibly easy. It also makes invading your privacy easy as well. So if you’re going on vacation, posting about it on social media is an open invitation to burglars. When you leave on an out of town trip, don’t announce it, rather keep a low profile.
  6. 6. Use booby traps: This plays right into Home Alone, but you don’t need to be a kid at home alone or a member of the military to take advantage of these traps. Insurgents have for ages used devices such as a swing trap using a log or rock with spikes to deter people from trespassing. Simple nail spikes can be set up on ground floor windowsills as both a deterrent and a way to encourage burglars to seek medical attention rather than invading your home. But you don’t have to injure someone with a booby trap. Hooking up a tripwire to a sound grenade or blowhorn will accomplish the same thing as making noise. It will scare off any intruders.
  7. Shredding documents: I had a girlfriend who religiously tore into tiny pieces any receipt or another piece of paper that had any identifying markings that could lead back to her. Come to think of it, maybe she was just trying to keep me from know where she lived. In any case, this is a good way to dissuade anyone trying to steal your identity. You can even use the torn-up pieces of paper as kindling for your fireplace.
  8. Install a smart doorbell: I know, I know this one doesn’t sound all that unique. You can get one of Ring’s regular video doorbells to see who’s knocking at your door, which is not actually a bad idea, as many burglars first ring the doorbell to see if anyone’s at home. What I’m talking about, and what is unique, is their Debate Ring Pro, which argues with LDS missionaries or Jehovah’s Witnesses, depending on the setting.

Now, I’ve left out a few, such as creating genetically altered attack chickens by crossing their genes with recovered velociraptor DNA found in ancient amber, but I think we’ll leave that one for another time, especially as I’ve got to brush up on my dinosaur genetic altering techniques.

Make sure that your home is insured from burglary, especially if you live in Florida, Learn about what home insurance is and how to get it quickly from Kin.